A moment to breath and contemplate…

Sooooooooo the last you heard from me I was planning a series of baking attempts and posts as I was working for an application to the Great Canadian Baking Show….

Then I worked 21 days straight, and even after that the combination of the two jobs and trying to squeeze in a bit of baking and bookkeeping in between has left little time for blogging.

I think we can probably safely say, that as filming was planned to happen May-June, that I didn’t get a spot this year, I am thinking I still, at this juncture, want to continue to work towards a placement next year.

Of course if they actually viewed this blog as part of the selection criteria, well I haven’t exactly been keeping it up, and certainly the only post that I put up regarding the competition was a failure. I never did get posted the “laminated pastry in 3 hours” post… which was a win. Or the Potato Bread one. Or even Black Forest Cake for Mother’s Day post. Ah well I can only keep doing what I do…. and given the choice of baking or writing about baking, the baking will always win.

In other depressing news, the wee inexpensive building next to the national park, that would have been perfect for my Big Black Dog Cafe, (which was all part of the ‘must win Baking Competition’ obsession) has been bought. It’s a sadness, but honestly without a competition win, or a lottery win, it wasn’t going to happen this year anyway.

The combination of the two has left me floundering a bit …. I don’t enjoy the work I’m doing, but the income is necessary, but it’s not leaving a lot of room emotionally, physically, temporally, or financially, for stuff I *want* to be doing. Building the house, sending the Feychild to school in England, my cafe, or even gardening, knitting, reading,….. *anything*. So I’m feeling a bit trapped in a black hole. But James and I are in this together and we keep on slogging, and maybe, just maybe …. eventually we’ll figure our way out of it. I just kinda hope it happens before we’re too old and weak and addle minded to enjoy it. In the meantime, I’m looking for a new idea, Plan, obsession, to hang my hope on.

Oh and as you know…. there`s been changes to LiveJournal`s TOS, that has a lot of people leaving. Honestly, I haven`t been reading at LJ regularly for a couple years now – much as I hate FB it really has become my point of contact with a lot of people. As for posting that comes too from my own blog space, and dreamwidth and they`re all crossposted to each other. If I can eventually manage to figure out new image hosting (I have been continuing to use scrapbook for all my image hosting) … I may end my LJ account for these privacy reasons. But migrating all my photos is gonna take a looong time, so that may not happen any time soon. It will be sad if it does…. 15 years I`ve been there, 15 years since a certain person I will never speak to again convinced me to try this idea that sounded hideous to me (yeah really I am NOT a big fan of change….) 10 years at least since I made that account permanent….. OK enough being maudlin…. I haven`t decided, and it`ll be a lot of work before its ready to happen if I do and besides it`s not like I`m leaving cyberspace….. LOL

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